240. The Power of Gathering: Science-Backed Ways to Combat Loneliness Through Group Connection
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Welcome to Joy Lab!: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Joy Lab podcast, where we help you uncover and foster your most joyful self. Your hosts, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek, bring you the ideal mix of soulful and scientifically sound tools to spark your joy, even when it feels dark. When you're ready to experiment with more joy, combine this podcast with the full Joy Lab program over at JoyLab.coach
Henry: Hello, I'm Henry Emmons and welcome back to Joy Lab.
Aimee Prasek: And I'm Aimee Prasek. So here at Joy Lab, we help you uncover and grow your most joyful self. Be sure folks to follow the show wherever you're listening, to this podcast, be sure to subscribe so you can stay with us. We have some really great episodes coming for the new year coming up. Holy smokes, 2026. And visit JoyLab.coach as well to learn more about what we do. So we are today talking about [00:01:00] something that connects to sympathetic joy in a powerful way. We are talking about collective effervescence. And I know it's kind of my new favorite term, I think, and this idea of emotional synchrony.
So, collective effervescence might sound like a weird term, but you have experienced it, I bet. Think about any time you've maybe been in a larger group of people all enjoying something like a concert, a sports game, when your team is winning, particularly a church service perhaps, a peaceful protest, you felt some kind of electric energy, I bet. Like a feeling that goes through the whole group. And this can be really good for us. We are wired for it. Yeah. So the
Henry: Yeah, it sounds really good. I, I want it,
Aimee Prasek: Oh, you've been, you've had it.
Henry: I want more.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah. We do want more. I think this is something where we're really craving as a culture. So this is something that French sociologists, Émile Durkheim studied, back [00:02:00] in like the early 1900s before the internet.
Um, so called it collective effervescence, thought it was absolutely central to how humans connect and thrive together. And I think here we are in 2025, nearly 2026, and it's like, yes, Émile, we need this now. So Durheim discovered that when people gather together and focus on the same thing, their emotions start to synchronize and amplify.
So we talked about the science of this in the last two episodes. I'll link those in the show notes, more on that sort of synchronizing.But Durkheim is really getting into this sort of group aspect, this group dynamic here, and identified some key ingredients for collective effervescence. So you need people physically together, everyone focused on
Henry: physically together.
Aimee Prasek: Key. Physically together, everyone focused on the same thing, and then some kind of coordinated movement or action, which I think is really cool. [00:03:00] Just think of like when you're in the, you're watching a sports game and people do the wave, like, what a weird thing, but everybody's into it.
That's a coordinated movement or action that kind of, you know, amplifies the energy.
So great. So there's also this concept called perceived emotional synchrony that researchers use to kind of measure this phenomenon, this experience. And they found that when people feel emotionally in sync with others kind of in these group settings, it has real measurable effects on wellbeing, on social connection, and even sort of how empowered people feel.
Henry: Okay, Aimee, I want to give you a fair warning. I'm going into another Boomer moment
Aimee Prasek: Good for you. Go bravely, Boomer.
Henry: So when I was in high school, there was a TV special called Roots, which a lot of people are gonna remember or know about.
Aimee Prasek: Middle school for us. Yep. Yep.
Henry: Oh, yeah. [00:04:00] So, this was about the experience of being an African American in the time of slavery before the Civil War. It was a really, really wonderful show, but it was also a social, cultural phenomenon. And it's the first time I remember when almost everybody I knew had the same experience of watching the same thing at the same time and being really impacted by it. There have been a few similar things since, but I don't recall anything being quite as momentous as that. Maybe it's 'cause it was my first such experience, but, so like you said, I, I think this kind of shared experience, even though we weren't necessarily physically together, there was a, a, sense, a knowing that everybody was doing this at the same time, and then you'd come together and, you know, physically together and share your thoughts and emotions about the experience. It was just [00:05:00] really powerful. I think it makes us feel less isolated, less alone, and then beyond that it can move us forward collectively to something that is greater than what we were before, greater as a people. And so I think it can make us better individuals, but also better as a whole. Now I am sure these things still happen today. I mean, I know that they do.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Henry: Yet study after study is telling us how many people in our society currently feel really isolated and lonely. And I think we all know what an impact that has on our mental health. So one of the problems I think, is that these cultural phenomena that happen nowadays are mostly asynchronous. They're not happening, we're not experiencing them together at the same time. So as an example, I love [00:06:00] streaming and what it brings to us, but it does take away the chance for a shared experience. And then, you know, COVID happened and now people don't even hardly go to the movies together, you know. If you go to a movie, it's a pretty empty theater it seems like. So I love this term collective effervescence, and I think I'm wishing that we had more of it. 'Cause I think the power to lift us is a lot greater when we are lifted together.
Aimee Prasek (2): Mm. Yes. Yeah, there, there's something very like physical about this. I think as you're noting, like Durkheim didn't say Zoom Effervescence or Microsoft Teams effervescence. This is very much a collection of people in this same space. And I, I think the other piece of this that is so often missing and kind of connected to your note of watching Roots is that [00:07:00] gathering for joy is super good for our wellbeing.
Yes. But so is gathering together in grief . Durkheim got into this too that we cannot face life's difficulties alone. And when we're talking about loneliness, life's difficulties just happen. We cannot face them alone. And so when we're talking about loneliness and isolation, those are just amplified. And so just like with joy, when we come together in these synchronous experiences that honor loss and hardship, something shifts.
We can feel supported and revitalized and more connected to something bigger than ourselves. And that's so important when you're experiencing grief, when you're experiencing depression. So I think whether we're gathering in grief or in celebration, the research shows that these synchronized emotional experiences can enhance wellbeing, strengthen social bonds, even reinforce our [00:08:00] shared values and all that sounds super great. I will note, however, that these same quick hits of feeling good can happen when we're gathering for causes that are harmful. We see this with cults, gangs, gatherings fueled by hate, violent protests. They might get some dopamine hits early on, and even that sense of belonging, but the wellbeing outcomes—even the survival outcomes of those types of gatherings—are not the same, which is tricky really, because you can get a burst of feel good energy, a burst, of a sense of belonging, but then the harm comes. So there's gotta be some awareness here when we're gathering with others, that we're gathering in nourishing ways, in ways that are maybe anchored in our 12 Elements of Joy.
And that's a helpful tool. When you're gathering in those ways and gathering in grief is one of those ways as well, you can expect good things [00:09:00] often.
Henry: Oh, I couldn't agree more. I think the tone and the content of these gatherings really matters.
I guess in a way, you know, the, the passions that are fueled, for example, by our current political climate, are giving us an opportunity really to experience more of this collective synchronizing with other people's emotions. Personally, I believe it has a different outcome both on us as individuals and on the whole, when there's a tone of acceptance or kindness in the gathering.
Aimee Prasek: A hundred percent the research will support that.
So how do we cultivate, uh, this in a healthy way? You know, we can't always be at concerts or big gatherings, like what about in everyday lives? And I think the research is helpful here. It gives us some key ingredients. Henry, you notice the, you know, the tone, the content, so yes.
[00:10:00] And, one of the most important things, physical co-presence, so just being together, being in the same space, not just on screen. as much as possible. Obviously if there's limitations there. Great, on screen, there's still benefits there. Okay, so if, if able physical co presence; second shared, focused attention kind of brought these up earlier, bringing 'em back now, so everyone's paying attention to the same thing as much as possible.
It could be a conversation, a book, a meal, an activity, a sport, whatever. Third is that behavioral synchrony. So that's that behavioral activation shared. This could be as simple as everyone laughing at the same joke. So you could be at a comedy club, or you could have like, amateur night at your own house where everybody's telling jokes.
Or it could be as complex, for me anyway, as dancing together or singing together. Here's where we can really practice sympathetic joy as well. Like when someone is at the dinner table and [00:11:00] shares good news, we can really tune into that. We can be happy for them. Feel that we can create that emotional synchrony. So we're not just going through the motions of saying congratulations,
we're actually like really sinking up our emotional state with their joy. So the key there is to tune in and really notice how you're feeling through these experiences.
Henry: Mm-hmm. Your, your comment about dancing or singing together makes me think of a, a really simple, and I think beautiful way to do this. So my son and daughter-in-law have really embraced this, this gathering together to do informal singing as a group. So it's called song circles. And um,I think it got really popular during COVID when people could gather outdoors and, and sing together without the risk of, you know, [00:12:00] getting sick or what have you. But, but it's, I mean, it's not, didn't start then, but it, I think it just kind of grew in popularity. Anyway, depending on how big the group is, they can meet in somebody's home or maybe a bigger public space. And as I understand it, this is kind of ideal for folks who love to sing or simply are looking for community, but maybe they don't have the time or the inclination to be in a more formal choir, or they don't have a ton of experience to consider themselves really, you know, good at it. But none of that matters, you know.
What matters is just the act of synchronizing your voice with the other voices, singing simple, but lovely tunes that just give you the pleasure of singing with others.
And I just love how this seems to democratize singing, you know, making it accessible to anybody who wants to do it, so, so they bring their young kids to this as well, [00:13:00] which just gives them an early experience of being part of something larger than themselves.
And I imagine them growing up. Just seeing this as normal part of life, being connected to others in this really simple routine way. And if any, any of you have ever done this, it's kind of hard not to feel better, even a little more joyful when you're singing joyful songs with others who are just getting so much pleasure from it. Just simple pleasure. That sounds like collective effervescence to me.
Aimee Prasek: I love that. It gives me a little bit of social anxiety. I'm not gonna lie. Of how like, oh, but the other thing to say about that too is, you can just mouth the words, the behavioral synchrony. You don't have to make the sounds necessarily. Like that's what I love about this collective effervescence, these ingredients that come into it, the people together, the physical [00:14:00] co-presence, the kind of synchrony of, of the energy. Like you don't have to be singing your heart out.
You can just quietly enjoy the music too and get so much from that.
Henry: Aimee, I, I wanna do this sometime, so I'll go with you and,
Aimee Prasek: Okay.
Henry: You don't have to stand, we don't have to stand right next to each other if you don't want, but...
Aimee Prasek: Yeah. I don't know what my hangup is about singing. I gotta figure this out, but.
Henry: Think this is, I think this is perfect for people who have hangups about singing, so you should try it.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah, I mean I think that's what's exciting about collective effervescence as well. Like try something new perhaps. Right? And participate in the level that feels comfortable for you because just being part of it is gonna be beneficial and you don't have to meet somebody new or make a new best friend, or like channel Celine Dion or Mariah Carey or something, right?
You can just be soaking in joy and celebration or [00:15:00] grief and, and support with everyone else. It matters. We are wired for this. We're designed to sync up with each other, to amplify each other's emotions, to feel together, to feel good together, to feel grief together and to heal together. So, I hope this has been an encouraginginvitation to create an experience of collective effervescence that fits you.
It could be singing circles, it could be dancing squares. It could be a book club, it could be a silent gardening club, whatever it is.
Henry: Ooh. I that. I like the sound of that too.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah! Be sure to, subscribe on whatever platform you're listening to, and then comment, if you have an idea for collective effervescence, put in the comments of wherever you're listening, let us know what your ideas are.
Like let's get a whole big, whole big pot of ideas that we can choose from. I love that. So, to end us, I wanna [00:16:00] share some wisdom from Alice Waters. Here's what she wrote. "This is the power of gathering. It inspires us delightfully to be more hopeful, more joyful, more thoughtful, in a word, more alive."
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