Self-Compassion: Don't Believe Everything You Think (about yourself)
In this episode, we're talking about self-compassion. Why? Because most of the time, we're complete jackasses to ourselves. We say cruel things to ourselves, set ridiculously impossible expectations, and perhaps most destructive... we tend to believe what we think. The obstacle related to that tendency is known as "over-identification." We'll get into that obstacle in this episode and discuss simple self-compassion strategies to help us overcome this obstacle. Oooh... one last thing... do you think self-compassion will turn you into a narcissistic slug? Listen in as well to hear how self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools for healthy productivity and behavior change.
The Joy Lab Podcast blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, ease anxiety, and uplift mood. Join Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek for practical, mindfulness-based tools and positive psychology strategies to build resilience and create lasting joy.
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Key Takeaways:
- Self-compassion is the other half of compassion. We MUST be compassionate to ourselves if we want to be compassionate toward others.
- Self-compassion supports healthy behavior change because we are more motivated to make changes when we want to care for ourselves (vs. wanting to make changes because we feel worthless or unacceptable).
- Some wisdom from Stuart Smalley (the healing power of comedy!).
- Self-esteem is different than self-compassion. Self-compassion is more dependable and a better fuel for positive change.
- Over-identification is a common obstacle of self-compassion. The basic problem is that we believe everything we think (that's a problem because much of what we think just isn't true).
- Our background noise (aka our self-talk) can be very toxic. Being aware of this noise is a key first step to quieting it down (the power of mindfulness).
- John Steinbeck: "And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."
- The 51% rule is great for perfectionists and procrastinators.
- The chaos to rigidity spectrum suggests that when stress hits, we'll swing to one side. To stay healthy, we have to find the middle.
- Simple strategies to get out of over-identification:
- Simple swaps in self-talk can be powerful. Once you catch yourself spiraling in negative self-talk, swap it with simple, gentle words like, "Oops!"
- Get out of your head and into your body. Preferably in nature.
- In next episode, we'll build on this more quiet headspace with more strategies to infuse self-compassion.
Links Mentioned:
- Joy Lab Program (go deeper with everything you learn from the podcast)
- Joy Lab podcast episode #7 (You're Wired for Compassion)
- Dr. Kristin Neff's website
- Dr. Dan Siegel's website
On Jan 1st, 2025, the Joy Lab Podcast and Program moved from Natural Mental Health to the nonprofit Pathways North.
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