Welcome to Joy Lab!: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Joy Lab podcast, where we help you uncover and foster your most joyful self. Your hosts, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek, bring you the ideal mix of soulful and scientifically sound tools to spark your joy, even when it feels dark. When you're ready to experiment with more joy, combine this podcast with the full Joy Lab program over at JoyLab.coach
Henry: Hello, I'm Henry Emmons and welcome back to Joy Lab.
Aimee Prasek: And I am Aimee Prasek. So we are in our month of Awe, and we're getting into another strategy to help us tap into our authenticity. It's not really a series per se that we've been doing this whole, Element of Awe, but kind of is. So if you haven't listened to the last three episodes before this, I'd encourage you to head back there now or after this one to really get kind of the bigger picture here.
Aimee Prasek: Today [00:01:00] we are getting into our second strategy that Henry calls Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy. So, Henry, do you wanna start us off?
Henry: Of course. So, just a really quick recap. We're talking about authenticity, about following our path to true self, and we're talking about doing it through the things that life presents us. So last episode, we talked about doing it through some of the 10,000 sorrows, and today we're gonna talk about doing it through some of the 10,000 joys.
Henry: So essentially, the idea, which I, I just really love is that we can awaken through anything, anything that life is presenting to us is another opportunity to awaken more fully to our lives [00:02:00] and our deeper self. So, doing it through some sort of pain or suffering, emotional suffering is probably the most common way of getting there by far. But it is just as effective and a whole lot more fun for most of us to do it through this path of joy. So it's not denying the other at all. In fact, we don't want to do that. We don't wanna deny the the hardships and stresses and sorrows, but, we just want to bring forth and notice and kind of invite in these joys, which are literally everywhere for us to, to be able to experience. So, Joseph Campbell, who, was made famous [00:03:00] really by the journalist, Bill Moyers. He was pretty famous before, but if any of you remember, long time ago now, there was this beautiful series on Joseph Campbell called The Power of Myth and Bill Moyers, I've mentioned him partly because he just passed away and he was just such a great
Aimee Prasek: Hmm.
Henry: journalist and contributor to this kind of conversation.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Henry: But Joseph Campbell was also really known for this phrase, "follow your bliss." That phrase has really become overused, maybe, and oversimplified.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Henry: You know, I think the idea being that, I don't know, just, just be happy
Aimee Prasek: Mm-hmm.
Henry: you know, do what you love, the money will follow kind of thing.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Henry: And I'm not denying that there's really good stuff in that, but, but I think what Campbell was talking about was much, much deeper than most [00:04:00] of us give credit for. One of his quotes, which I also love is, "awe is what moves us forward." and that's really what we're trying to do here. We're trying to these things that spark awe or that bring us into a deeper sense of presence, which I think of as being kind of the equivalent of joy.
Henry: Now, again, joy is not a feeling. I think it's a deep kind of a sacred presence to
Aimee Prasek: yes.
Henry: all that is. And so this idea that if we can open ourselves up more fully to awe, it can move us forward towards our goal of living our authentic life. So again, the concept involves this belief that joy is [00:05:00] everywhere. It's not something we have to buy. It's not something we have to achieve. It is something we are surrounded with at all times, because we're always invited into a deeper sense of presence. I mean, nature is always available no matter where we live. There is some aspect of nature that's available to us. And that is just a constant invitation to go inward and be drawn by awe to what moves us forward. So what we wanna do is we wanna let it be our guide. We want to be drawn to what we love, to what we long for, to what enlivens us.
Aimee Prasek: Hmm.
Henry: And, and that is a really, really good measure. If there's something, you know what it feels like when you're enlivened, you feel a little more expansive.
Aimee Prasek: Yes.
Henry: You feel some energy that starts to [00:06:00] flow that wasn't there before.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Henry: You start to notice that time has kind of lost its, hold on you for a little while.
Aimee Prasek: Mm.
Henry: And that is because something that you're doing or, or experiencing or aware of is enlivening you. It's filling you with life and vitality and joy. Now I do wanna kind of bring us back to one of the obstacles that we actually talked about a couple of episodes ago. and it's especially important here with this concept of joy, and that is the idea that it has to be something really special. It's gotta be on a grand scale, you know, we have to be living our best life. I don't believe any of that is really accurate here. This is something we can build in small increments. We can let these little daily joys [00:07:00] and and small pleasures add up to something that really means something to us. And it can be through things that we actually think are just ordinary. Things about ourselves, for example, that, bring us to life, we might think of as being extremely ordinary. Like it's not a big deal if, because it comes so naturally to me. So some of the questions we can ask ourselves is, you know, what did I do when I was a kid that kids didn't seem to do?
Henry: Or what was I just naturally good at? Or what did I get praised or thanked for doing? Or what is it that I do when I lose track of time?
Henry: When time ceases to exist for me for a little while? So I, I remember myself be before I entered medical school, so this is before I got [00:08:00] inundated with, all the, you know, the kind of hardcore science that truthfully I didn't find quite as interesting. So I'm very aware that — I was a, a big reader back then and —the books that I chose were almost always things about nutrition, holistic medicine or spirituality.
Aimee Prasek: Mm.
Henry: And so whenever I would, once I got into my medical training, whenever I would kind of hit the wall and be just overcome, overwhelmed with the flood of, facts and science
Aimee Prasek: Oh yeah.
Henry: I would go back to these things and I've continued to do that really throughout my adult life.
Henry: And, I'm very aware that the, the books and talks and activities I gravitate toward are really still remain in those, those three major [00:09:00] spheres, you know, the things that I think bring me to a deeper sense of my, my own spirit, my soul, if you will. Things that are about living in a healthful way
Aimee Prasek: Mm
Henry: and things that are about thinking in a broader, more holistic and encompassing way. And we can get clues from the kinds of things we did before we had to be doing something else. Or the things we do even now when we have free time and maybe we need to fill ourselves up a little bit, what do we turn to? That really helps us to do that.
Aimee Prasek: Or the things that we say we'll do after we do all the things that we think we need to do.
Henry: Mm-hmm.
Aimee Prasek: What are we putting out there? Our bookshelves are very similar, Henry. I was just looking over it. I'm excited to dive into this inner world of daydreaming, which I just got. [00:10:00] It's like an obscure book from the fifties, I think.
Aimee Prasek: Anyway, yeah. Like what, what are those things that draw you? It's, it's so much of what we do here at Joy Lab in the Podcast and Program. And I think it's funny, you know, it seems like the, the obvious things, but as I said just a moment ago, the things that maybe you put out into the future that you'll do later when, I think there's so much of that and so, you know, with Joy Lab, we're focusing on, embracing those inner states, those emotions that are within us that we can cultivate because it's sometimes easier to get sucked into the 10,000 sorrows or the distractions that keep us from following our bliss.
Aimee Prasek: I think also us humans love to try and punish ourselves into everything. Like berating ourselves and others, sort of using force aggression, to try to get us to where we think we wanna be more quickly. You know, to try to [00:11:00] get to the joy more quickly. I think we can summon up a lot of, um, unhelpful things that actually cut us down and keep us distracted. I wanna sit on that for a moment because I think it's very common. I know I do it, I know it doesn't work. I've gotten better at it. Uh, but it is kind of the message that we're constantly receiving, you know, that the only way to change is through blood, sweat, and tears. And it's just not true. There's a Friedrich Nietzsche quote that I come back to when I fall into this inclination. He wrote, "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process they do not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." Little deep.
Aimee Prasek: I wanna dig into it for a moment. I think so [00:12:00] often we see ourselves as monsters. Or we see others as monsters or the world as monsters, which is the first problem that I think Nietzsche is calling out. We are choosing that we are choosing to see monsters. And so we often embody that. We become monsters, because we think our cause is good or we think our outcome will be beneficial to ourselves or a larger population.
Aimee Prasek: So we fight, we become a monster trying to fight a monster. And what is the result? 99% of the time it's not healing, it's not growth, it's not peace, it's not our authentic self. It's just more monsters. Right. But it's tricky. It really ensnares us. And then this idea of gazing into the abyss, I think that's his critique on how so often we just sit there and observe or criticize or cut down or cynical.
Aimee Prasek: We keep seeing all the monsters, all the bad stuff, and [00:13:00] that stuff just stares back at us and amplifies and continues the cycle of seeing monsters and blaming monsters and there's no growth. Sort of like when, back to my basketball metaphor, if you're sitting in the arena, yay, I'll bring it back. B-ball's coming back.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah. Like you're in the arena and you're just staring down and it's all you see are monsters. Those monsters are just gonna look back at you. But we don't have to do this. This path of joy, we do not have to see monsters. We don't even have to see monsters in the path of sorrow, the path of suffering. We can see what is good and go after that, like you said, Henry.
Aimee Prasek: And not only does it not have to be grand, I think importantly, it doesn't have to be earned. You are not a monster that needs to be like de-monstered before you see the good or feel the good before you follow your bliss. Seeing the good, cultivating the good is like sunlight for [00:14:00] vampires. They'll show up less when we follow our bliss.
Aimee Prasek: And as we talked about last episode, yes, bad stuff will happen. We can grow from that. But monsters or some epic fight does not need to exist to bring the light. We can bring the light right now.
Henry: Yeah. You know, I, I wanna just kind of emphasize what you said, Aimee, about effort, you know, growth, growing into true self does not have to be hard.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Aimee Prasek: It can be, and that's okay.
Aimee Prasek: Yep.
Henry: You know, it's, it's, it really is a, a really helpful and good thing to grow through our struggles, and that can be hard, but what could be easier really than allowing yourself to be drawn to what you love?
Aimee Prasek: Yeah.
Henry: And letting that open you up. So, one might [00:15:00] ask, why are we suggesting we put so much emphasis on ourselves, you know, so much focus on the self and, what I would say to that is that I don't think there are many things more gratifying than realizing that simply being yourself is enough. That that is what you have to offer the world. And it is what will make you the happiest. And I think that, you know, those of us who, who want to do something to make the world a better place, this is how you can do it. By becoming more and more fully yourself. And there's a, a great line from Joseph Campbell again, that you "sanctify the place you are in" and that's what you [00:16:00] do. I think when you become really fully yourself, there's a sacredness to that, that wherever it is that you find yourself, whatever it is, you find yourself doing grand or not grand, with that degree of presence and self-acceptance, you sanctify it. There's just something about giving yourself so freely to the world without reserve
Aimee Prasek: Yes.
Henry: that enhances joy. Yours, and for those around you. It's like it, it sends it out there, and then it comes back to you even more fully than when you sent it out. It is a virtuous cycle.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah, it's an upward spiral.
Henry: Yes, it is.
Aimee Prasek: We talk about that a lot here. It is, yeah. Thanks for raising up that paradox. Because it seems [00:17:00] like there is so much self focus on, on what maybe we're getting into in the last two episodes. Which is why I love our Elements at Joy Lab. it gives us some, clear practices, some language, to, to work on.
Aimee Prasek: Because what happens, which I think here's the paradox is as we do that work, as we work with compassion as we work with awe, as we work with curiosity, all of our elements, we kind of unravel that small self. We take those masks off, and the only place then to be in our true self is in that authentic web of connection with everyone, everything around us.
Aimee Prasek: So it is kind of this paradoxical journey, I think. So it's not a hyper focus on self. It's really, you know we're, we're working on coming back to our true nature, which is deeply connected. Interdependent, thanks for calling that [00:18:00] out. Yeah. Anything else, Henry, that you wanna add to that?
Henry: No,
Aimee Prasek: Okay.
Henry: I think you said it so well.
Aimee Prasek: Yeah. So. That's why we're here at Joy Lab. We have all of those 12 Elements to really focus on that can help us walk through this path of joy and that path of suffering, so that we can cultivate some real growth and tap into our authentic nature, which is deeply connected. So stick with us here at the Podcast.
Aimee Prasek: Join us for the Program. I feel like we're kind of warming up as well, getting a little deeper. Getting ready for next episode where we'll get into more of the soulfulness of authenticity. This is a good prep for next episode.
Henry: Ooh.
Aimee Prasek: Yep. Before we go though, Joseph Campbell has more to say. This is like the Joseph Campbell episode. I love it. Uh, so let's close with some wisdom from Joseph Campbell. "You must return with the bliss and integrate [00:19:00] it. The return is seeing the radiance is everywhere. Sanctify the place you are in. Follow your bliss."
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