You Contain Multitudes: The Practice of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness sounds simple enough—knowing yourself. But here's the truth: you're never "done" with self-awareness. It's not a box to check but a lifelong practice of seeing yourself with clarity and, crucially, without judgment.

Listen to the Joy Lab Podcast episode that dives into this deeper:

The Practice of Self-Awareness: Why You're Worth Knowing

The Gift of Complexity

As Walt Whitman wrote, "I contain multitudes." We're not just one unified self. We're complex, multifaceted beings with many parts—some we're proud of, some we'd rather not acknowledge. The sad parts, the grieving parts, the struggling parts? Those are essential pieces of who we are too.

Here's what makes self-awareness tricky: it exists on a spectrum and shifts across different areas of our lives. You might have excellent self-awareness at work but blind spots in your relationships. Or vice versa. That's normal.

The Self-Evaluation Trap

Self-awareness naturally triggers self-evaluation—we compare what we observe to our standards and values. That's not inherently bad. But here's where things get complicated: we often move from self-evaluation to self-judgment at lightning speed.

We measure ourselves against demands and expectations we've absorbed (often unconsciously) from others, media, and culture. And social media? It's like fuel on the fire, exhausting our systems with endless opportunities for comparison. It's like being on a treadmill—eventually, you get tired, and those comparison patterns become even harder to resist.

The key is creating space between observation and judgment. When we're aware enough to notice that we're measuring ourselves and what we're measuring against, we can ask: Is this expectation realistic? Is it even mine? Or did I adopt it from somewhere else?

We Are Verbs, Not Nouns

Here's a liberating thought: You are not a fixed thing. You're in process, always becoming. As Stephen Fry said, "We are not nouns. We are verbs." You're not imprisoned by who you were yesterday or five years ago. You're actively unfolding.

Simple Joy Practice: The Many Selves Reflection

This week, try this values-based awareness practice using Viktor Frankl's three categories:

Grab a piece of paper and create three sections:

1. Creative Values - What do you love to give? How do you contribute positively to the world? (Examples: making art, shoveling a neighbor's driveway, planning gatherings)

2. Experiential Values - What do you love to receive? What nourishes you? (Examples: hiking and smelling pine trees, listening to live music, taking naps)

3. Attitudinal Values - What do you stand up for, especially amidst hardship? What helps you keep standing? (Examples: "Grief helps me tap into what I love" or "Forgiveness frees me")

Don't overthink the categories. Just write what comes. Add to it throughout the week. This practice reminds you: You are a person worth knowing.

As Rumi wrote: "The universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself. Everything that you want, you already are."