Why Turning Toward Negative Emotions Is One of the Most Resilient Thing You Can Do
May 13, 2026💭 Go deeper: We talk more about this in episode #265 of the Joy Lab Podcast.
Most of our hardest emotions (like shame, anger, guilt, envy) feel a lot like fear. Psychiatrist Edward Hallowell goes so far as to say that if there's one emotion at the core of the human experience, it's fear. Which might explain why we work so hard to stuff these feelings down, scroll past them, or outrun them entirely.
Unfortunately, avoidance doesn't move emotions out. It just lets them pile up.
The Case for Turning Toward the Feeling
Negative emotions aren't a sign something is broken in you. They're normal, they're healthy, and they're actually supposed to move through you. It's when they get stuck that things get difficult.
The good news is that you have more agency here than you might think.
One helpful thing to consider is the distinction between emotions (the physiological sensations in your body) and feelings (those sensations plus your mental interpretation and narrative). Between those two places is a bit of space. And that space is where you have some say over what happens next.
Embody. Observe. Yield.
When a difficult emotion rises up, three simple steps can help it move through instead of getting lodged:
- Embody — Bring your attention to your chest or belly. Where do you feel this? You don't have to name it, fix it, or figure it out. Just notice it.
- Observe — Go a little deeper. What does it feel like? Does it shift? Wax and wane?
- Yield — Allow it to be there without grabbing onto it or pushing it away. Your attention alone can help it move on.
Start small. The day-to-day annoyances and frustrations are your training ground and your emotional immune system will get stronger with each rep. When the stressful blizzards eventually come (and they will), you'll have built real capacity to navigate them.
And if your body asks for movement during that yield step (e.g., a walk, a good cry, even a stomp) listen to that and consider taking action in a safe way. Your body wants to literally help move these emotions through you.
Want to be guided through practices like this? Join us at the Joy Lab Program.
