291. Letting Go of the Stories You Tell Yourself: Is It True? Is It Helpful? Is It Kind?

October 14, 2026

It's great that us humans are storytellers... except when we tell rigid, oversimplified stories about who we are, what happened to us, and what’s possible next. The solution is not to get rid of our stories as they can help us make sense of a complex world, build identity, and find some control in chaos. One strategy to loosen up on our stories is to do some editing to them. We can ask a story that might be holding us three questions:

Is it true? (Memory is like a Wikipedia page, not a replayable video — constantly re-edited by mood, depression, and anxiety.)
Is it helpful? (We’re terrible predictors of our future selves and tend to overestimate how much one event defines us.)
Is it kind? (Unkind stories activate the stress response and can shut down possibility; self-compassion is the condition that makes change possible.)

In this episode, we'll dig into how we can identify our stories, ask some questions of them, and make some honest edits so our stories can become tools for growth and possibility.

Ready to take action? Learn more about Experiments here.

Referenced books (more sources below):

Two Islands & A Boat (narrative therapy resource)

Related Episodes:

Start of our Grief Series. ep. 248: Grief, Growth & The Wholeness of Being Human (Grief Recovery & Healing Series part 1)

About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.

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Questions this episode was made for:

Q: How do I let go of a story about myself that I've been telling for years — especially when it feels completely true?

A: This episode offers three practical questions to ask any story you're holding: is it true, is it helpful, and is it kind. These questions can help us edit our stories so they are more honest and enable growth.

Q: Does letting go of my stories mean I have to pretend the bad things didn't happen or turn them into something positive?

A: No! That's toxic positivity and it sucks our joy. Letting go of stories is not about denial, toxic positivity, or crafting a phoenix-rising narrative; it's about loosening the tight grip so the story doesn't have unearned power over what's possible.

Key moments:

[00:00] Welcome — Letting go of our stories

[01:00] What letting go of stories is NOT: ignoring the past, rejecting what happened, abandoning truth that keeps us safe or gives direction

[02:30] Creating stories about ourselves helps us make sense of the world, form identity, find belonging, feel some control in chaos

[03:00] The problem isn't that we make up stories — it's that we believe them; seeing a story as a story lets us keep the good without letting it dictate our lives

[03:30] Narrative therapy: clarifying, challenging, recrafting stories; book recommendations and practitioner note in show notes

[04:30] The kettlebell metaphor: stories are like light kettlebells — easy to pick up, helpful to swing around, but they get heavy with time and take resources to hold

[05:30] When arms are free and open: more open to love, growth, success — and also rejection, failure, sorrow; that's why we grip; uncertainty takes skill

[06:00] Thich Nhat Hanh: "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." — substitute suffering with stories

[07:30] There can be real grief in letting go of a story — even the best decision can come with loss; link to Grief Series in show notes

[08:00] But when you let go, you create space for something new — it might take a while to arrive, but at least it's possible

[08:30] Even our thriving main-character stories can hold us back in unhelpful ways

[09:00] Three questions to ask of any story: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?

[10:00] Our brain crafts simple stories to explain complex situations — comforting, but rarely fully true for complex human lives

[10:30] We retell stories until they feel more true; memory is not a replayable video — Dr. Elizabeth Loftus: memory is more like a Wikipedia page

[11:00] Memory gets re-edited by many people and experiences, not just us — similar to how perception is influenced by so many things

[11:30] When experiencing depression or anxiety, our perspective narrows — the stories and edits we make during those times reflect that narrowed view

[12:00] Asking "is it true?" lets us examine the edits and the context in which they were made

[13:00] We don't have to deny what's true, but we get to choose what fills our awareness and which stories we hold tightly vs. loosely — but only if we see them as stories

[15:30] Question 2 — Is it helpful? We think stories are helpful for predicting future behaviors, but we're terrible predictors of our future selves

[16:00] We overestimate the impact of events — one experience of being cheated on becomes "I can never trust anyone"; getting fired for a mistake becomes "I can never keep a job"

[17:00] We see past and future through the lens of the present — hard to imagine not thinking tomorrow what we're thinking today; stories don't anticipate much change either

[17:30] It's not about predicting the future better — it's about loosening the grip so we can be open to what is

[19:00] Henry's clinical example: depressed clients who are certain they're miserable because of a job or relationship — he advises waiting until mood improves before deciding, because in that state the mind is unreliable

[20:30] Question 3 — Is it kind? Kind speech from wisdom traditions: rooted in compassion, in support of the listener, sharing truth to promote growth and flourishing

[21:00] Applying to ourselves: is the story rooted in compassion? Does it support you? Can it promote growth, or does it shrink your world?

[21:30] Letting go of unkind stories does NOT mean rewriting them as Hallmark movies or phoenix-rising narratives — those things don't have to happen

[22:00] Hard experiences don't need to shrink us OR require us to relentlessly optimize — both things can be true at once; we're wired for resilience, not relentless self-improvement

[22:30] When we let go of unkind stories, we calm our nervous system, increase approach behaviors, become more likely to try again after screwing up

[23:00] Kindness is an evolutionary superpower and one of the most effective tools for behavior change

[23:30] Shame and self-criticism activate the stress and threat response, shutting down possibility; kindness and self-compassion activate learning and growth

[24:00] Kindness is not just the nice thing to do — it's the condition that makes change possible; there is no other way

[24:30] The three questions again: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? — join the Experiment to work with these in practice

[25:00] Closing wisdom from Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul: "In order to be who you are, you must be willing to let go of who you think you are."

Sources and Notes for Our Element of Letting Go:

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Clark & Radomsky (2014). Introduction: A global perspective on unwanted intrusive thoughts. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.001
Damasio, A. R. (1994). Descartes' error: Emotion, reason, and the human brain. G. P. Putnam's Sons.
de Mello, A. (1990). Awareness. Doubleday.
Epictetus. (2014). Discourses, fragments, handbook (R. Hard, Trans.). Oxford University Press.
Feldman, et al. (2023). Interoceptive ability moderates the effect of physiological reactivity on social judgment. 10.1037/emo0001210
Freud, S. (1957). Mourning and melancholia. In J. Strachey (Ed. & Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14, pp. 243–258). Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1917)
Gottlieb, L. (2019). Maybe you should talk to someone: A therapist, her therapist, and our lives revealed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
Jung, C. G. (1962). Commentary. In R. Wilhelm (Trans.), The secret of the golden flower: A Chinese book of life (C. F. Baynes, Trans.; Rev. ed.). Harcourt, Brace & World. (Original work published 1929)
Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (Eds.). (1996). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis.
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. Macmillan.
Langer, E. J. (1975). The illusion of control. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.32.2.311
Langer, E. J. (2009). Counterclockwise. Ballantine Books.
Luo, M. (2004, February 27). For exercise in New York futility, push button. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/27/nyregion/for-exercise-in-new-york-futility-push-button.html
MacCormack & Lindquis (2019). Feeling hangry? When hunger is conceptualized as emotion. 10.1037/emo0000422
Mauss, et al. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. doi.org/10.1037/a0022010
Morewedge, et al. (2010). Consuming experience: Why affective forecasters overestimate comparative value. 10.1016/j.jesp.2010.07.010
Moulding, et al. (2014). Part 2. They scare because we care: The relationship between obsessive intrusive thoughts and appraisals and control strategies across 15 cities. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2014.02.006
Nhat Hanh, T. (1998). Fragrant palm leaves: Journals, 1962–1966. Parallax Press.
Palmer, P. J. (2016, April 27). The gift of presence, the perils of advice. The On Being Project. https://onbeing.org/blog/the-gift-of-presence-the-perils-of-advice/
Paumgarten, N. (2008, April 21). Up and then down: The lives of elevators. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2008/04/21/up-and-then-down
Rachman, S. (1981). Part I. Unwanted intrusive cognitions. 10.1016/0146-6402(81)90007-2
Radomsky, et al. (2014). Part 1—You can run but you can't hide: Intrusive thoughts on six continents. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 3(3), 269–279. 10.1016/j.jocrd.2013.09.002
Siegel, et al. (2018). Seeing what you feel: Affect drives visual perception of structurally neutral faces. 10.1177/0956797617741718
Singer, M. A. (2007). The untethered soul: The journey beyond yourself. New Harbinger Publications.
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Wilson & Gilbert. 2005). Affective forecasting: Knowing what to want. 10.1111/j.0963-7214.2005.00355.x

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:05] Henry Emmons, MD: I'm Henry Emmons, and welcome back to Joy Lab.

[00:00:09] Aimee Prasek, PhD: And I'm Aimee Prasek. We are in our Element of Letting Go, and as we talked about last Episode, when it comes to tapping into our resilience, our joy — we see Letting Go as a skill: the skill of loosening our grip on the thoughts and behaviors that keep us anchored to the past, resisting the present, and anxious about the future. And I think our topic today, letting go of our stories, really highlights that kind of anchored, resisting, anxious aspect. So we're gonna dig into that. More specifically we're gonna dig into those stories, oftentimes the ones, that are more about our suffering, or how we've harmed others, or how we've been harmed by others, or how we've harmed ourselves. And the ends of those stories, I think, often are kind of these generalized black-and-white conclusions. You know, like, "Because this happened, I can never trust anyone," or, "I'll never be happy until they change." And when we talk about letting go of our stories, it's not about ignoring the past; it's not about rejecting what has happened to us or letting go of the truth of an experience that can help inform us, or keep us safe, or give us some direction, or help inform a next step. It's about letting go of the tight grip we might have to these stories, true or not, so that they don't gain unearned power or become the only story that we have.

[00:01:50] Henry Emmons, MD: Mm-hmm. So, full disclosure, I'm actually a big fan of stories.

[00:01:56] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yeah?

[00:01:57] Henry Emmons, MD: I am. Storytelling, you know, it's one of the most important human activities [since] forever, and it's also one of the few things that lights up the entire brain. It's just really good for us to share stories. We are just absolutely made to do it.

Creating stories about ourselves has some useful aspects too. It helps us make sense of the world and our place in it. It helps us create a sense of identity or belonging, and it can even help us feel safer, you know, more in control when life feels really chaotic. The problem is not that we make up stories about ourselves, it's that we believe them.

So we'll get more into this as we go along, I'm sure, but I don't think we have to give up our stories. That's not our point. It's enough just to be able to see them as stories. In the last Episode, we talked about how we can't stop having thoughts, but when we see that they're just thoughts, they lose their power over us. And I think it's very similar. When we see stories as just stories, but not as our absolute truth, then we get to keep the good things, but not let them dictate our lives.

[00:03:21] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yeah, stories can be a really helpful therapeutic tool, like with narrative therapy, which kind of works with clarifying, challenging, recrafting some of the stories we might be hanging on tightly to. So if you resonate with what we're getting into today, I'll pop some book recommendations in the show notes and, you know, if you have access, working with a practitioner who uses narrative therapy can be super helpful.

We also have our Experiment for you this Episode that walks you through a practice to help you work on this skill and letting go of these stories. All you need to do is subscribe through Apple or Spotify, or donate at our website. We do not take any advertisers. We run on the support of our community — all of you who are part of this awesome community. So please head to the show notes for more on supporting, and getting access to those Experiments.

Back to those stories. You noted that we don't have to give them up, Henry. I love that wording because it sounds like the opposite of letting go, but it's not. We don't have to give them up, and we can let them go.

It might help to think of [these] stories like kettlebells. So I was into kettlebells for a bit. I think they're a good metaphor. So the light ones are like our stories. They're easy to pick up. You can swing them around for a while. They're fun. They can be helpful. But even though they're light, they take resources to hang onto. And you can only hold so many at once. And after hanging onto them for a while, they get heavier and heavier. And when you let go of your stories, just like letting go of a kettlebell, they don't disappear. You don't have to get rid of them. You can just set them down, and you can pick them back up again for any reason, helpful or not. And that's comforting to remember because it can be really hard to let go of a story that you've told yourself for a lot of years.

So when we let go of those stories, even the stories where we're the main character and we're thriving — because we can get caught up in those main character stories too in unhelpful ways — when we can release a tight grip on those stories and set them down, then our arms are more free, more open, which is glorious and terrifying, right? You're more open to love. You're more open to growth, success, joys; also rejection, failures, sorrow. So it makes sense that we hang on to these stories because being open to all that other stuff, and the uncertainty it all comes with, can be tough. It takes skill and practice, which is why we're here.

I think Thich Nhat Hanh said it really well, "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." Yeah, sub suffering with stories, and it's common.

[00:06:40] Henry Emmons, MD: Yeah. Well I love your kettlebell analogy, Aimee. I I practiced or used kettlebells for a while too.

[00:06:47] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Right?

[00:06:47] Henry Emmons, MD: Just a little while, haha, and then I got tired of it.

[00:06:51] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Enough is enough, yeah.

[00:06:52] Henry Emmons, MD: Uh-huh. So, you know, using that analogy, that metaphor — if you've been holding onto it for a long time, even a light kettlebell, think about how you'd feel when you first set it down. It would be a relief for sure, but you'd also feel really tired and sore because you'd been carrying it for so long, and it would take a while to recover from that . Also, it would be an adjustment to be without something that you'd gotten so used to.

So it might seem that letting go is so easy; so freeing, and it is. But it's also hard and there's even some loss in it. Because if we've used a story to understand ourselves and maybe why things aren't going that great in our lives, we might feel some real grief at letting it go, even if that's the best thing for us to do. But remember, there can be such freedom in it. We can create so much more space for something new to come in. It might take a while for that newness to come, but at least it's possible when we open up room for it.

[00:08:13] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yeah. I think it's really helpful to note that there might be a period of grief, of loss, as we let go of a story. I'll put our Grief Series in the show notes. Start with that first Gate that we worked on: Everything we love, we will lose — because we love our stories. Even if they're not true or they're holding us back, they do give us some comfort and some certainty at times, so they can be hard to let go of. So as we're saying, and as most of us have felt, there is a point when these stories can get too heavy and they sort of restrict us more than comfort us, and we wanna let them go. So let's get into that. How can we loosen up on our stories; maybe even set some of them down?

There are three questions we can ask of a story we're telling ourselves that can help us do this, help us loosen our grip on it. First, is it true? Second, is it helpful? Third, is it kind? So let's start at the beginning.

First, the truth. Now, of course we think our stories are true. The problem is very often they're not as true as we think. Lori Gottlieb, who's a therapist who does a lot of work with stories, says, "We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives." Which is kind of hard to hear, but it's not a bad thing, really. The stories we tell are often ways to make sense of this wild existence. You know, it's our brain trying to make sense of complexity and uncertainty, and that takes some, like, complicated narration. And we often wanna craft a story so that it's comforting — which, unless we're gonna write, you know, _The Wheel of Time_, which is that super long fantasy series, then we're gonna craft a simpler story — to explain those complex situations, which is comforting. There's no plot twists, no cliffhangers, just some more simple answers to make our system chill out a bit.

But simple, single stories just don't cut it for complex human lives. They're rarely true, when it comes to, you know, being a complex human, but they are convincing — those simple stories. And we retell them again and again, and they feel even more true. And I think, actually, memory is a helpful thing to understand [which] relates here.

So we often think that what we remember is like rewinding a video of our life, but — I think it's Dr. Elizabeth Loftus, I'll look it up — who describes memory more like a Wikipedia page than a replayable video. She describes that also, you know, we're not the only ones that edit our memories, that edit that page. Our memory, it's a creation. It gets re-edited by lots of other people and experiences, not just us. And it's similar to what we talked about last Episode with our perception, and how it's influenced by so many things around us and within us. But our stories are then crafted with this dynamic perception, this shared memory-making — that gets edited, and edited again, when we're in different moods and amidst different experiences — so we just keep editing. And if you're experiencing depression or anxiety, your stories, and the edits of your stories, will very likely reflect that. When we're experiencing depression or anxiety, our perspective is narrowed. We have a smaller view of the world and ourselves. The stories we craft or retell during those times, they will get edited from that more, kind of narrow perspective.

So, back to is it true? Asking that of your story is essential, because we can check in on those edits that we've made and the context of our editing, and when we do that, we can start to let go of a story or let go of some of the edits that are just not true.

[00:12:34] Henry Emmons, MD: So I'm remembering the research on optimism that, as I recall, it showed people who are just a little pessimistic actually have a better grasp of reality than the — us relentless optimists.

[00:12:53] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yep

[00:12:53] Henry Emmons, MD: So their negative slant is a little closer to the truth, perhaps. But they're also unhappier, and they're more prone to depression. So that's kind of the lesson there, is that — why optimism might not be as true, and yet it can be a good thing. So what I take from that is not that we should deny what's true, but that we get to choose what we focus on, what fills our awareness. And it makes a difference in the quality of our lives. Likewise, we get to choose what stories we hold tightly and which ones we hold loosely. But we can only do that if we see that they are stories. We reflect on what's true, and then we decide what place to give them in our lives.

[00:13:53] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yeah. Yeah, as someone with a very strong pessimistic bent, I agree that I am more right, hahaha.

[00:14:02] Henry Emmons, MD: You are, Aimee. You're more — you're more right. Haha.

[00:14:06] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Thank you, Henry, but folks say to me, "No way, you're joyful. You seem like an optimist." If you were in my brain, you would know that the first thing that pops for me is not optimism. It's skepticism, usually followed by cynicism, and then maybe judgment. Fear usually gets in there. And then optimism is, like, over there in the corner just reading a book like a lonely middle child. But with practice, I've changed where I put my attention — where I put the weight of my energy. And not because I'm rejecting anything, like you're saying, Henry. It's just that I've — you know, I've dropped the story that pessimism means I need to act or think in a certain way. And I, you know — I've, I guess, even rewritten that story by calling myself a survivalist, and even a contextually-appropriate optimist. My story — yeah, that's what I am.

[00:15:04] Henry Emmons, MD: That's good. That's a nice reframe, Aimee. I love it. Hahaha.

[00:15:08] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Hahaha. Contextually appropriate. You know, my story is that my brain wants to protect me and others right away, and that can be so helpful. While all you optimism folks are, you know, gallivanting around, I am telling you that there's a car coming. So that can be helpful at times. Other times it's not helpful, when there's no cars around and you guys are having the time of your lives. I wanna play, too, right? So, you know, that's something that I've shifted big time in my life, and it feels good.

So — which leads to, I think, that second thing to ask our story: is it helpful? So, oftentimes we're telling these stories because we think they are helpful to inform our future, or future behaviors. Or we've been told that's how you are, or that's how you should be. The problem here is that not only are we terrible narrators of our own experiences, we're also terrible predictors of our future selves. The research here is fascinating.

When people are asked to predict how they'll feel after something, they are rarely right. So part of the reason we get it so wrong is that we often overestimate the impact of stuff. So we'll tell a story, you know, based on an event, something that happened to us, and overestimate how important it is, you know — how much it'll impact our future, often in an effort to protect ourselves. We think it'll be helpful. So we give it a ton of power, maybe saying that this one thing, like, someone cheating on us is why we'll never be able to trust anyone again. Or we get fired because we made a mistake, and that's why we'll never be able to keep a job. And of course, past experiences have influence, but we usually overestimate how much, and in not so helpful ways. So yes, it's true, you were fired, for example; it's probably not true that you can't keep a job, and it's also a conclusion that really isn't helpful at all. Like, you know, will that conclusion or that story help you avoid that future mistake? I mean, I guess, if you never get a job again, but that's not actually helpful. You owe yourself a more true and helpful story.

So the reality is that we see the past [and] future through the lens of the present, which sounds totally obvious, but I don't think we sit with that enough. So in our present state, we actually don't anticipate that we'll make much change in the future. It's just really hard to imagine not thinking tomorrow, what you're thinking today. So thinking that you'll make a big change is kind of out there. Like it, it's — it's out of the question. Which matters when you're asking yourself if your stories are helpful, because if you can't foresee change accurately, it's likely your stories don't see much change either. So we have these unhelpful stories that keep us stagnant oftentimes. And so it's not about being able to predict the future better. It's actually about loosening the grip on those stories. And as we've talked about, being open to, and allowing, what is. So we can ask ourselves, "Is this story helpful?" And if it's not, what unhelpful edits can you let go of?

[00:18:53] Henry Emmons, MD: Yeah. I think one thing we don't appreciate about our stories is the emotional state that we were in when we created them.

[00:19:03] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yes.

[00:19:04] Henry Emmons, MD: Or the mood that we are in right now as we're making decisions based on the story.

[00:19:11] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Mm.

[00:19:12] Henry Emmons, MD: So let me give an example. I often have clients who are depressed, and they're sure they're depressed because of their job, or their spouse, or something else that's making them miserable. That's the story they are telling themselves. So their solution, in their mind, is to leave that job or that relationship. Now, they might be right, and ultimately that might be the best decision for them. But I usually advise them to wait until their mood improves and see what they think then. Because in that moment, in that state, the mind is very unreliable, and what the story is telling may or may not be true. And we're not able to discern that until we get some emotional distance from it. It can be terribly unhelpful to be driven by our stories when the story itself is distorted by an unhealthy emotion.

[00:20:21] Aimee Prasek, PhD: That's so helpful — getting some emotional distance from it. I think that's essential, and really what we're doing with asking these three questions of our stories. We're creating some psychological distance, kinda taking a book editor's perspective, so we can make space for what is true.

So, let's do that with this last question. Is it kind? I think this can be the hardest to understand, especially when we're talking about kindness to ourselves and if our stories are kind. I like how a lot of the wisdom traditions talk about kind speech. Here, I think it relates.

So kind speech is rooted in compassion. The intention of that speech is in support of who we're communicating with. And it's about sharing the truth with compassion, to promote growth and flourishing. So when we're talking about kind speech [toward] ourselves; when we're talking about repeating the stories we've told about ourselves, we can ask, is it rooted in compassion? Is the story one of support? Can it promote our growth and flourishing, or at least not push us down and shrink our world?

And, maybe a relief to all the pessimists, or survivalists, or contextually-appropriate optimists, letting go of our unkind stories is not about having to rewrite them into a Hallmark movie or a phoenix-rising kind of story. Sure, there's room for that, but that does not always have to happen. We do not have to always transform or rise above the crappy stuff that happens in our lives. And those things also don't need to shrink us either, or hold us back. Those two things can exist together. We are wired for resilience. We are not wired to relentlessly optimize ourselves. So we can let go of our stories that are unkind, and we don't need to fill it with toxic positivity, or the expectation or pressure of becoming a better person after every negative experience.

And, I guess ironically, here's where my contextually-appropriate optimism comes in. When we let go of some of these unkind stories, which is a courageous act of kindness, we can create so much space in our lives. Literally, the kindness can help calm our nervous system; it can increase our likelihood to try new things. It's you know, kind of igniting these approach behaviors. [We're] more likely to try again, even after we screw up. Kindness is one of our evolutionary superpowers and one of the most effective tools for behavior change.

[00:23:33] Henry Emmons, MD: Yeah, I just love the question, is it kind?

[00:23:37] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Mm-hmm.

[00:23:38] Henry Emmons, MD: It'd be good to ask us — ask that of ourselves about all of our communications, you know, with ourselves and with others.

[00:23:46] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yep.

[00:23:47] Henry Emmons, MD: Neuroscience shows us that shame and self-criticism activate the stress response, the threat response. They shut down possibility. That's what they're supposed to do if they're trying to protect us. But kindness and self-compassion activate the parts of your brain that allow for learning and growth. So if you want to actually change, if you wanna let go of your stories and create new ones, you have to do it with kindness. There's just no other choice. Not because it feels good, although it does, but because kindness is the condition that makes change possible.

[00:24:33] Aimee Prasek, PhD: Yeah. Kindness is a superpower. Let's write kinder stories about ourselves. So those questions again: Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? Ask those questions of your stories. Join us for the Experiment as we get into this with a practice. Head to the show notes to learn how to join us.

And to close our time today, I wanna share some wisdom from Michael Singer, who wrote _The Untethered Soul_, a book Henry and I both really enjoyed.

I think, right, you loved _The Untethered Soul_, didn't you, Henry?

[00:25:07] Henry Emmons, MD: Oh yeah.

[00:25:08] Aimee Prasek, PhD: So good. Put it in the show notes. Here's what he wrote: "In order to be who you are, you must be willing to let go of who you think you are."

[00:25:22] Thanks for joining us!: Thank you for listening to the Joy Lab podcast. Be sure to rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

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291. Letting Go of the Stories You Tell Yourself: Is It True? Is It Helpful? Is It Kind?

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