29. Backdraft: When Being Good to Yourself Feels Bad
In this episode, Aimee is talking about an interesting obstacle to self-compassion: Backdraft. Just to note, this isn't about the 1991 movie, Backdraft (though who doesn't love a De Niro flick?!). Instead, we're talking about a fire science term that psychology also uses to describe a pretty uncomfortable feeling that can arise when we open ourselves up and let in some self-compassion. Listen in for how this phenomenon takes shape and three tips to ease it so you can continue practicing this essential element of self-compassion.
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Key Takeaways:
- Love reveals anything unlike itself... the brain is wired to present all the ways we haven't been compassionate.
- We have been trained to be hard on ourselves. That means it's logical if backdraft is coming up for you. The only antidote is self-compassion.
- Note that if you're experiencing a lot of backdraft, it is important to get support from a practitioner or trusted individual who can help you through.
- Three tips to consider to help ease backdraft:
- Stop, then yield.
- Feel it to heal it.
- Name it to tame it.
Links Mentioned:
- Joy Lab Program (go deeper with everything you learn from the podcast)
- Joy Lab podcast episode 7 (You're Wired for Compassion)
- Joy Lab podcast episode 26 (Self-Compassion: Don't Believe Everything You Think [about yourself])
- Joy Lab podcast episode 27 (Self-Compassion: Easing Up On Yourself )
- Joy Lab podcast episode 28 (Self-Compassion: Remembering You're Not Alone)
- Mindful Self-Compassion Program
On Jan 1st, 2025, the Joy Lab Podcast and Program moved from Natural Mental Health to the nonprofit Pathways North.
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