The Day Will Never Arrive When You Have Everything Under Control — And That's Excellent News
Aug 19, 2026💭 Go deeper: We talk more about this in episode #281 of the Joy Lab Podcast
There's a voice many of us have fallen for that says rest has to be earned. That you need to hit some productivity threshold before you're allowed to stop. That busyness is a virtue and idleness is a character flaw. That the person who collects stamps or spots trains is wasting their life in a way the high-achieving, schedule-optimizing hustle-culture adherent is not.
That voice is wrong. And this episode is about why.
Idleness aversion, that deeply human tendency to detest doing nothing, has real evolutionary roots. We're wired to assess whether action is needed and feel motivated when it is. That system is working as designed. The problem is when it gets hijacked by external messaging that removes any nuance from the signal. "Work harder. Sleep when you're dead. If you're not moving, you're falling behind." That's not our biology speaking. That's a trillion-dollar industry that profits from making us feel like we're not enough unless we're optimizing something.
In many ways, we train our stress responses. They become habits. And reversing them takes time and practice, which is exactly why Joy Lab treats getting comfortable with rest as a skill, not a given.
There are really practical ways to practice this skill of rest: get a hobby that absolutely cannot be turned into a side hustle. Something not quantifiable in any way. For example, Aimee Prasek, PhD, has chickens. They're not cost-effective, not on any to-do list, just genuinely delightful. You could also find a third place where people aren't checking things off lists. Or, let yourself daydream on purpose, with a timer.
Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks, has some fantastic wisdom to remember:
"Productivity is a trap. Becoming more efficient just makes you more rushed, and trying to clear the decks simply makes them fill up again faster. The day will never arrive when you finally have everything under control. But you know what? That's excellent news."
Sources and Notes:
- Joy Lab Experiments: Take the next leap in your wellbeing journey with step-by-step practices to help you build and maintain the elements of joy in your life.
- Joy Lab episodes referenced:
- Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman
- Series on authenticity from our Joy Lab podcast:
- Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe [ep. 216]
-
The Truth Behind Your Thoughts And How to Calm Your Mind (encore) [ep. 141]
- Embrace Your True Self: Accepted, Connected, & In The Game [ep. 217]
- The Road Most Travelled: Awakening Through Suffering [ep. 218]
- Follow Your Bliss: Awakening to Joy [ep. 219]
- The Still Small Voice: Awakening with Soulfulness [ep. 220]
- Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind (this is the study of people shocking themselves out of boredom)
- Chandola, T., Ling, W., & Rouxel, P. (2025). Are anxious Mondays associated with HPA-axis dysregulation? A longitudinal study of older adults in England. Journal of Affective Disorders, 389. Access here.
